The defence The Popcorn Loyalist
“Sincerity is not manipulation.”
The film risks embarrassment to make emotion communal, and that openness is harder than fashionable detachment.
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The Seven Year Hitch
Romance · Comedy · TV Movie · 2012
Jennifer and Kevin are childhood best friends who have lived together, platonically, as adults for many years. When Jennifer decides to marry her cheating, manipulative boyfriend, Bryce Kevin has to stop the wedding to protect her from making, what he believes is, a terrible mistake. With a little help from his brother and neighbor Kevin discovers that he and Jennifer are already legally married due to common law, having lived together for seven years and, as such, Jennifer can not marry Bryce.
Movie details
The Seven Year Hitch
2012 Romance · Comedy · TV Movie 1h 26m
Critical arithmetic
One number, for now.
Scores change. Arguments endure.
TMDB
6.0 / 10
Community rating
Jennifer and Kevin are childhood best friends who have lived together, platonically, as adults for many years. When Jennifer decides to marry her cheating, manipulative boyfriend, Bryce Kevin has to stop the wedding to protect her from making, what he believes is, a terrible mistake. With a little help from his brother and neighbor Kevin discovers that he and Jennifer are already legally married due to common law, having lived together for seven years and, as such, Jennifer can not marry Bryce.
CriticWise case file
What this film says about your taste.
Not a recommendation score. A measure of how closely the film’s taste signals resemble yours.
The archetype split
Who fights over The Seven Year Hitch?
For the defence
The Popcorn Loyalist
“Big screen, big feelings, no apologies.”
Read their case For the prosecution
The Big-Idea Head
“You watch with your brain, not your gut.”
Read their objectionThe split comes from the same five-axis model used by the test, not audience ratings or review sentiment.
Taste neighbourhood
Nearby on the taste map.
TMDB supplies the candidates. CriticWise reorders them by craft, strangeness, prestige, emotion, and pace.
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Keeping the Faith
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Marrying Mr. Darcy
TV Movie · 2018
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Relationship Goals
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When TV producer Leah Caldwell aims to become the first woman running New York's top morning show, her ex competes for the same role. Leah stays focused on her career, until chemistry with her ex challenges her priorities.
Yoh! Bestie
Romance · 2026
Thando is perpetually unlucky in love, but when her bestie returns from his travels with a fiancée in tow, she's forced to face a new emotion — jealousy.
Easy Virtue
Comedy · 2008
A young Englishman marries a glamorous American. When he brings her home to meet the parents, she arrives like a blast from the future - blowing their entrenched British stuffiness out the window.
Saving Silverman
Comedy · 2001
A pair of buddies conspire to save their best friend from marrying the wrong woman, a cold-hearted beauty who snatches him from them and breaks up their Neil Diamond cover band.
Under Wraps
Family · 2021
Three friends try to save their mummified friend, Harold, from greedy criminals by returning him to his resting place before midnight on Halloween.
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Names above the title
The people responsible.
Cast & crew
Directed by
Bradford May
Written by
Brian Sawyer · Gregg Rossen
Natalie Hall
Jennifer
Darin Brooks
Kevin
Ryan Doom
Bryce
John Sloan
Jeremy
George Wendt
Mr. Henderson
Frances Fisher
Mrs. Von Hoffman
Katy Stoll
Sally
Court is in session
Put The Seven Year Hitch on trial.
Two incompatible taste archetypes. One film. Read the arguments, then issue a completely binding cultural ruling.
The prosecution The Big-Idea Head
“The strings are showing.”
Every cue tells you exactly what to feel and when, leaving sentiment to do the work character should have done.