The defence The Sentimental Softie
“Its refusal to behave is the point.”
The strange choices create the kind of friction that follows you out of the theatre and into the argument.
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Suck
Comedy · Horror · Music · 2009
The film follows a petty rock band called the Winners, consisting of vocalist Joey Winner, bassist Jennifer, guitarist Tyler, drummer Sam, and French-Canadian roadie Hugo, along with their sleazy manager Jeff, as they tour across Canada and the USA after Jennifer is turned into a vampire by Queeny. Meanwhile, a vampire hunter who is afraid of the dark named Eddie Van Helsing quickly chases them down.
Movie details
Suck
2009 Comedy · Horror · Music 1h 31m
Critical arithmetic
One number, for now.
Scores change. Arguments endure.
TMDB
6.1 / 10
Community rating
The film follows a petty rock band called the Winners, consisting of vocalist Joey Winner, bassist Jennifer, guitarist Tyler, drummer Sam, and French-Canadian roadie Hugo, along with their sleazy manager Jeff, as they tour across Canada and the USA after Jennifer is turned into a vampire by Queeny. Meanwhile, a vampire hunter who is afraid of the dark named Eddie Van Helsing quickly chases them down.
CriticWise case file
What this film says about your taste.
Not a recommendation score. A measure of how closely the film’s taste signals resemble yours.
The archetype split
Who fights over Suck?
For the defence
The Sentimental Softie
“You came to feel something, and you will.”
Read their case For the prosecution
The Big-Idea Head
“You watch with your brain, not your gut.”
Read their objectionThe split comes from the same five-axis model used by the test, not audience ratings or review sentiment.
Where it lives
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Streaming availability data supplied by JustWatch.
Names above the title
The people responsible.
Cast & crew
Directed by
Rob Stefaniuk
Written by
Rob Stefaniuk
Malcolm McDowell
Eddie Van Helsing
Iggy Pop
Victor
Henry Rollins
Rockin' Roger
Alice Cooper
Bartender
Jessica Paré
Jennifer
Dave Foley
Jeff
Moby
Beef
Court is in session
Put Suck on trial.
Two incompatible taste archetypes. One film. Read the arguments, then issue a completely binding cultural ruling.
The prosecution The Big-Idea Head
“Oddness is not depth.”
A film can break every rule and still leave nothing behind but the memory of how hard it tried to be singular.